A Flat Hand Means Stop

A booking message included one honest line at the end: my English is very basic. It was a useful line. It told the reply to keep things short, and it meant the guest would look for a therapist who shared another language, if possible. That evening, they did not share one. They shared a few words of English and a willingness to keep things simple.

This note is about how that works, because it works more often than people expect.

Words that are enough

A visit does not need grammar. It needs a small number of words, used clearly. Yes. No. Slower. Softer. Stop. Add warm and cold for the room, and that covers nearly everything that needs saying. Both people can learn these in a minute, if they do not know them already. They are also some of the first English words many people learn, from films, songs and travel.

Signs that need no words

Some signs are understood almost everywhere:

• a raised palm, held still, says stop;
• a raised thumb says yes, that is good;
• a palm sinking slowly through the air asks for slower or softer;
• one finger raised means wait, one moment;
• pointing at the heater and rubbing your arms means the room is cold.

These signs are useful even when both people speak the same language well. In a quiet room, a hand is often easier than a sentence.

Her limits, said simply

At the start of every visit, she tells you her limits: what the session includes and what it does not. With little shared language, she says them in short words, and she may show them with her hands. The guest's part is to listen, and to answer each point with yes, or with a nod. If something is not clear, the right words are again, please, and the point comes back to you in fewer, slower words. Her limits then stay the same for the whole visit.

Stop means stop

Either person can say stop, or raise a flat hand, at any moment. It is respected at once, without a reason and without an apology. After a stop, there is a pause, and the person who said it decides what happens next. This is the same whatever language the two people share. A clear stop is a clear stop in every language.

The quiet

Many guests worry that a visit with little conversation will feel awkward. In practice, most visits are quiet after the first few minutes, even when both people speak fluently. Silence during a massage is not impolite. It is normal. With little shared language, the quiet simply arrives a little earlier.

A phone on the table

Some guests keep a translation app open on the table. That is fine, for short things: a word neither person knows, a question about the temperature. It is not needed for the core of the visit. Yes, slower, softer and stop are faster than any app.

Warm and cold

Comfort in the room is often about temperature. A hotel room at night can be colder than it looks, and air conditioning can blow straight at the bed. Cold is one word, and pointing at the air conditioning is a second. Warm, with a hand held out towards the heater, works the other way. Neither needs a sentence. Rooms in old canal flats can be cool too, and a blanket is easier to ask for than to explain. None of this depends on a shared language. It depends only on saying it early, before a small discomfort becomes a long one.

Before the visit

If your English is limited, say so in the booking message, as this guest did. It is useful to know, and it is never a problem. Look at the languages listed on each profile, in case you share one. And say the five words out loud once before she arrives. A word said once is easier to find again.

The page on a massage with a little shared English has more on the door, the pace and the end of the visit. The page on yes, slower and stop has the words and signs in one list you can read in a minute.

The guest with basic English booked again the following night. Their second message was the same length as the first, and it ended the same way: English basic, no problem. They were right.